ColbertWatch

Colbert again refers to Oregon as "California's Canada"

2006-02-03T14:47:00.000-08:00

On the Colbert Report episode 2016 last night, biased republican commentator Stephen Colbert once again referred to Oregon as "California's Canada." Of course, Mr. Colbert offers no logical reasons as to why Oregon should be compared to our neighbor to the north. Last time I checked, we didn't have free health care, and I still have to wait until I'm 21 to legally have a beer. I have asked Senator Ron Wyden to demand a formal apology from Mr. Colbert, and I suggest you do the same. What's next, calling Colorado Utah's New Mexico? Wait. That doesn't make sense. You know what I mean.

BREAKING; Colbert's "Scorn" tested on animals!

2006-02-02T14:19:00.000-08:00

I have it on good authority that the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals will anounce a country-wide boycott of Stephen Colbert's fragrance line this week, due to the fact that it is tested on bunnies and kittens. According to the press release:

Pennyover Labs earned the distinction of being ranked No. 1 on People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals list of the top 10 worst offenders for lab animal treatment, according to a PETA statement.
Company officials were not available to comment on the ranking Wednesday.
Darlene Petrie, PETA director of research and investigation said they chose Pennyover because of its high-profile testing of Stephen Colbert's fragrance, "Scorn."
Said Petrie, "The vivisection of innocent bunnies and kittens for the sole purpose of furthering the sales of a fragrance, while technically not illegal, is certainly immoral."

Please join me in refusing to buy Stephen Colbert's "Scorn." Not that I'd buy it anyway because it probably smells like Tom DeLay.

Did Colbert kill a panda? His silence speaks volumes.

2006-02-02T13:11:00.000-08:00

In February of 2005, conservative blowhard Stephen Colbert insinuated that he may have killed at least one panda. I have sent CBS Corporation (the company that owns Viacom, which airs Mr. Colbert's program) the following letter:

CBS Corporation
51 West 52nd Street
New York, NY 10019

Dear Sir or Madam:
Stephen Colbert, host of The Colbert Report, may have killed a panda. If this is true, it is clear that Mr. Colbert is in direct violation of Article 7 United States Code, Sections 2131-2159 which probably states, "[P]eople aren't allowed to kill pandas." I urge you to take whatever disciplinary steps I deem necessary, including but not limited to, removing Mr. Colbert from your programming.
Thank you.
Benjamin Diebold

Although I sent this letter over TWO HOURS ago, neither CBS, Viacom, or Mr. Colbert have responded. What are they trying to hide? Perhaps their silence on the issue stems from the possibility that Stephen Colbert really DID kill a panda. Although I don't have any actual evidence, I dare you to find evidence that he DIDN'T kill a panda. Consider this: Mr. Colbert hails from the red state of North Carolina. According to the North Carolina Zoo's website, they do not have a panda on display. I'm guessing that's because Mr. Colbert killed it. Stephen Colbert's irrational fear of bears must be stopped, especially when it comes to killing them. I mean, what are there, like 200 of those things left?

Welcome to ColbertWatch

2006-02-02T07:04:00.000-08:00

Greetings, and welcome to the ColbertWatch blog! I started this blog to document all of the hateful lies and hypocrisy that is spewed forth on a daily basis by conservative pundit Stephen Colbert. I'm hoping that this website can serve as a sort of bulletin board to expose Mr. Colbert as the fraudulent liar that he is. I believe that conservative media like Stephen Colbert, Rush Limbaugh, and Al Roker are dividing this country, filling up the airwaves with complete distortions of the basic truths we hold self-evident, and it's time that we--as citizens of this global community--rose up together to call them out. I'd also like to come up with a neat nickname for Mr. Colbert that sums up his propensity for fibbing in a neat little package. You know, like "Bill O'Lielly" but with Stephen instead. Unephen Colbert? Stephen Unfair? I don't know, something like that.